I confess. I'm like Inigo Montoya...I hate waiting. But I'm learning that God's timing is not my timing.
Look at Noah. Although it rained 40 days and 40 nights, he was stuck in that stinky boat for more than a year (Noah entered the ark in the 600th year of his life, on the 17th day of the 2nd month (Genesis 7:11-13). Noah left the ark on the 27th day of the 2nd month of the following year (Genesis 8:14-15)...a year and 10 days, to be exact). I'm sure he was more than happy to GET OFF THE BOAT.
And at the same time, look at Abram/Abraham. He didn't see God fulfilling his promise of an offspring from his body (Genesis 15:). He was already more than 75 years old (Genesis 12:4)...definitely not a spring chicken. So ten years later (Genesis 16:4), despite God's promises, He and Sarai took matters into their own hands, and voila, we've got Ishmael, father of the Muslims, born when Abram was 86 years old. Nothing like creating your own misery by taking matters into your own hands! But God renews his promise when Abram is 99 years old (Genesis 17:1), and gave him Isaac when he was 100 years old...twenty five years after the original promise.
So I'm not in a hurry to mess with God's promises. He spoke clearly and audibly about not settling, and Patrick's also heard a clear call to not drive. So here we are, almost 2 years later, still struggling with finding a church home. It's not easy and not what I want for my family, but until God clearly shows us where to go, we're not going.
The hardest thing is discerning what is our responsibility and what is God's, and where the line is between being faithful and taking things into our own hands. Are there things we haven't done that are blocking our paths? Are we grumbling too much, causing us to wander in the desert? It's not that we don't want to submit to a local church--I'm looking forward to the community. But until we find one that doesn't have me blinking away the tears as I hear "not this one either", we'll keep seeking God on where He wants us to be.
Lead us on, Lord. I'm weary of this journey. Help me to be patient and submit both to You and Patrick.
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God is with us. Always.
ReplyDeleteYes, God is with us everywhere, and I admire how you seem to have found a way to be part of a community of believers. While I think it's important to be part of a church, I also know church is a whole lot more than just a building. You live a life that honors Him, and I know He rewards that. God's timing is, as you said, often much longer than we expect.
ReplyDeletePraying that you will hear Him giving you clear direction soon, and that He will sustain your family and keep that desire for Him alive and strong while you wait. I've often struggled with that same line between what is my responsibility and what is God's (in different matters). All I know to do is to keep trying. Go to a church if the whim strikes you. You never know. If it's right, God will tell you, whether you've been there yet or not. And if it's not, you've moved forward in faith, which I believe the Lord honors.
Continue to wait with expectation, and be prepared because the answer is rarely what you expect. It's usually pretty crazy... and I can't wait to see where He leads you!