Harvest

This year we planted two rows of peas, some beans, a couple cucumber plants, several cherry tomato plants, a dozen peppers (of various varieties) two zucchini plants (only one survived) and one summer squash.

I went easy on the squash. The first time my mom planted zucchini, she planted 20 hills...and we were eating jumbo zucchini in every possible form for a L O N G time.

But I must have went too easy on the squash...while we had tons of tomatoes, peppers, peas and beans, we had zero squash.

None. Zip, zero, zilch.

It wasn't that there weren't blooms--there seemed to be new ones every couple of days. I tried manually pollinating them, but that didn't seem to make a difference.

I'm feeling like a zucchini plant right now.

Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Without a close Christian community, I'm getting pretty dull and rusty, not to mention spritually barren. (And feeling like I'm the prior verses--A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day...who wants to be a drippy, annoying faucet?).

I'm not sure what to do about it. My "self-pollination" strategies obviously haven't worked. Our attempts to find a church community here haven't panned out. while we've figured out ways to use our gifts, I'm not sure how much fruit it's bearing.

But then again, plants don't bear fruit in every season. Maybe this is just winter. Here's looking forward to spring...

Lord, sharpen me. Bear fruit in me and through me. Help me be patient. I'm weary of waiting...give me endurance and perserverance.

Word Filled Wednesday Psalm 84

I'm hungry, Lord. Feed me.
I need prayer. I need some good teaching.

This weekend God reminded me that the best way to get fed...is to feed someone else. Feeling lonely? Find someone lonelier than you and befriend them. Then neither of you will be lonely. Need some good Bible teaching? Volunteer to teach somewhere, and you'll get some good teaching. Need prayer? Pray for someone.

God's economy is totally upside down. The best way to get is to give.

So tonight I'll be getting to know the third grade girls...praying for them, reading the Bible with them, laughing with them, crying with them...being a teacher and a learner all at once.

Thanks, Lord, that your economy is totally different from the worlds. Equip me to both teach and learn, to minister to and be ministered to. Thanks for this opportunity, and may the investment have eternal returns.

Happy Anniversary?

I don't know the exact date, but it's been about a year since we found out about the changes that were to happen at the donut church. When the pastor told us what he was doing, what unfolded over the course of the last year flashed in front of me--the broken relationships, people set a drift...and all I could do was cry.

We tried hard to stay, to help those we knew would be hurting. But in the end, we couldn't stay.

What I miss most is the community. We've been working at forming a community here, mostly by having people over for dinner. And while breaking bread together does make bonds, it's not the same as a community that prays with and for us.

I need that prayer. I know God has something for us here, but it's not coming together in the timeline I'd like.

Word Filled Wednesday--Provision

And to this day it is said,
"On the mountain of the LORD
it will be provided."
Genesis 22:14b



This is the view out my window right now. What a testament to God providing!

God provided a great husband who encouraged me to go.
God provided an obvious childcare provider for Hope so she can be with me.
God provided funding through a travel grant.
God provided a friend to drive me to the airport.
God provided me not only a pack and play, but also a ride to and from the airport!
(And now I'm trusting him to provide a ride home from the airport.)

Thanks, God, Jehovah Jireh, when you make your provision for me obvious. Thanks for the opportunity to be here and marvel at the wonders of Your hand and participate in this meeting. Help me trust that you do provide, even when it's not as obvious.

Word filled Wed--Scattered

Dandelion seeds are scattered to spread, well, dandelions.

Sometimes I think God scatters the church to do the same. Though I'm sure it was traumatic to the early Christians who were scattered at the beginning of Acts 8, it served an important purpose in spreading God's word in the "beyond".

I've recently met with some of the people who have been scattered from the donut church. While it's no fun to be scattered, God definitely had a purpose. One is being used in amazing ways with youth, and growing leaps and bounds. Another has had opportunities to lead in ways that would have never been possible at the donut church--too much history followed them there. And another has a much greater appreciation of other church leadership styles. They learned important things, were healed of baggage, and grew at the donut church, but they had to be scattered to really take root.

These meetings are bittersweet. While I'm happy for those who are planted and growing, I also have a twinge of "why not us?" Someday...

Crying

Babies might not be able to talk, but they definitely can communicate. Hope has several different cries. There is the "I'm so tired, I just want to go to bed" cry, which is distinct from the "I'm hungry" cry and the "I need to be changed" cry. She's recently added a strange, inhaling cry which means "I see something I want but can't get it" and the "where did you go?" cries.

We think we grow out of that, but I don't. I read Psalm 77 earlier, as I was pondering ths. I cry out to God for the same reasons Hope does--I'm hungry, God. I'm dirty, I need you to clean me and change my heart. I can see your kingdom but can't reach it. I can't see you right now--show yourself to me.

Maybe that makes me a baby Christian. Or maybe it just makes me human. But either way, the psalmist gives some good suggestions when I'm crying out to God. I can remember all the good things God has done in the past. I can testify to his past provision and His mighty arm. I can trust that His love and compassion unfailing.

I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint.

You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
"Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."
I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

Lord, change me. Feed me through your word. Show me Your face. I thank you for all the ways you have provided for us, and for teaching us through our children.