Homeless and wandering

I've never been homeless. But I've volunteered at a homeless shelter on a regular basis when I was in grad school, and I've felt spiritually homeless before.

One of the things about being homeless is that you're limited in how much stuff you can bring with you. You have to haul it around, using what you need each night and praying you don't forget something important before you leave the next morning.

So we're still church homeless. While we've got a rotation of church "couches" to crash on and even have figured out ways to use our gifts, we can't exactly unpack our luggage or get "comfortable" in a congregation.

It feels a little like we're the Israelites, wandering in the desert. I know God is bringing us somewhere, and I'm trying to not complain on the the way...but it's really hard. It's especially hard with kids in tow. We still haven't formally dedicated Hope, and Henry is probably ready to be baptised...if we had a place to do such things.

Sigh. Hopefully it won't take us 40 years to reach the promised land...

All for a bowl of stew

Genesis 25:29-34:
Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."

"Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"

But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.

How often do we as Christians trade our birthright for a bowl of stew?

Harvest

This year we planted two rows of peas, some beans, a couple cucumber plants, several cherry tomato plants, a dozen peppers (of various varieties) two zucchini plants (only one survived) and one summer squash.

I went easy on the squash. The first time my mom planted zucchini, she planted 20 hills...and we were eating jumbo zucchini in every possible form for a L O N G time.

But I must have went too easy on the squash...while we had tons of tomatoes, peppers, peas and beans, we had zero squash.

None. Zip, zero, zilch.

It wasn't that there weren't blooms--there seemed to be new ones every couple of days. I tried manually pollinating them, but that didn't seem to make a difference.

I'm feeling like a zucchini plant right now.

Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Without a close Christian community, I'm getting pretty dull and rusty, not to mention spritually barren. (And feeling like I'm the prior verses--A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day...who wants to be a drippy, annoying faucet?).

I'm not sure what to do about it. My "self-pollination" strategies obviously haven't worked. Our attempts to find a church community here haven't panned out. while we've figured out ways to use our gifts, I'm not sure how much fruit it's bearing.

But then again, plants don't bear fruit in every season. Maybe this is just winter. Here's looking forward to spring...

Lord, sharpen me. Bear fruit in me and through me. Help me be patient. I'm weary of waiting...give me endurance and perserverance.

Word Filled Wednesday Psalm 84

I'm hungry, Lord. Feed me.
I need prayer. I need some good teaching.

This weekend God reminded me that the best way to get fed...is to feed someone else. Feeling lonely? Find someone lonelier than you and befriend them. Then neither of you will be lonely. Need some good Bible teaching? Volunteer to teach somewhere, and you'll get some good teaching. Need prayer? Pray for someone.

God's economy is totally upside down. The best way to get is to give.

So tonight I'll be getting to know the third grade girls...praying for them, reading the Bible with them, laughing with them, crying with them...being a teacher and a learner all at once.

Thanks, Lord, that your economy is totally different from the worlds. Equip me to both teach and learn, to minister to and be ministered to. Thanks for this opportunity, and may the investment have eternal returns.

Happy Anniversary?

I don't know the exact date, but it's been about a year since we found out about the changes that were to happen at the donut church. When the pastor told us what he was doing, what unfolded over the course of the last year flashed in front of me--the broken relationships, people set a drift...and all I could do was cry.

We tried hard to stay, to help those we knew would be hurting. But in the end, we couldn't stay.

What I miss most is the community. We've been working at forming a community here, mostly by having people over for dinner. And while breaking bread together does make bonds, it's not the same as a community that prays with and for us.

I need that prayer. I know God has something for us here, but it's not coming together in the timeline I'd like.

Word Filled Wednesday--Provision

And to this day it is said,
"On the mountain of the LORD
it will be provided."
Genesis 22:14b



This is the view out my window right now. What a testament to God providing!

God provided a great husband who encouraged me to go.
God provided an obvious childcare provider for Hope so she can be with me.
God provided funding through a travel grant.
God provided a friend to drive me to the airport.
God provided me not only a pack and play, but also a ride to and from the airport!
(And now I'm trusting him to provide a ride home from the airport.)

Thanks, God, Jehovah Jireh, when you make your provision for me obvious. Thanks for the opportunity to be here and marvel at the wonders of Your hand and participate in this meeting. Help me trust that you do provide, even when it's not as obvious.